A beginning crepuscular

Postcard from Pelican’s Nest

Postcard from Little River

I remember 1878 Market Street

___________________

 

A beginning crepuscular

 

 

crepuscular I dream in

 

deciduous-time

 

elk crossing over into

 

fugue-glory behold all

 

 

herbaceous loving giants on plains grazing

 

iridescent carapace radiant against tree bark

 

jaguars jawlines

 

juncos      jacarandas     jellyfish

 

kindred, our last shared ancestor with octopus,

 

750 million years ago, primitive worm with  

                                                                           simple eye spots

 

                    lichens speak: “upon these rocks we shall build the soil”

 

mammalian brain

 

                     nevermind

                   

obligate personhood manifest

 

quintessential reciprocity from

 

                    sternum to

treeline to

universal umbilicus to soften into one’s

visceral valleys while imagining

 

 

wooly mammoths rolling in ecstasy

 

yarrow-sweet

 

                                                  zest            

 

 

_____________________

 

Postcard from Pelican’s Nest

 

 

The truth is that a boisterous raft of sea lions

called me back to the water. My pinniped

sirens. It’s high tide and the men are fishing.

I would like to sit with confidence at continent’s

edge & beginning of benthic mystery. Did you

know that, in medieval times, pelicans were said

to feed their young with their own blood? Here

in my pocket, the crab claw has lost its luster.

We’re always at risk of erasure. Walking the beach,

I came across an opening to a cave, an apparition:

an artist and their easel dissolving into driftwood

leaning against rock. And from the heavens, star

shaped creatures fell to sea. I’m told the

“mermaids drink free.” Of course, they do.

 

 

___________________

 

Postcard from Little River

 

 

Hello. I’m living in the possibility of this

June morning. Seaside, deer meadow,

quail paradise. In the shade of tall trees,

mushrooms are breaking down complex

matter into useful forms. I’m not talking

about nature’s background music—

it’s the operating system I’m in love with.

But maybe you knew all that. Who were you

before you were born? Were you among

the slight worms who do the most work?

Did you float, with your sun warmed wings

over prairie grasses? Have you ever felt

the dawn on your paws? Were you excited

for the nectar waiting for you?

 

 

_______________________

 

I remember 1878 Market Street

 

                                        for Michael Sullivan

                                        after Joe Brainerd

                                       

                             

 

I remember 1878 Market Street. Room 303. 

 

I remember the billboard

I lived behind

 

 & the city doves who nested

 

in the cubby

                                        facing into my room

 

I remember the stainless

steel sink into which one night I vomited

 

the whiskey mac & cheese cocktail

 

 & the skylight     that leaked holy

 

water on my Sunday morning head

 

Sleeping with the floor

 

& the nighttime chorus

 

F Market streetcar

 

 

 

I remember Mike my first (San Francisco)

 

          friend who left little gifts

 

outside my door   the framed collage made from dryer

 

lint entitled “Bodhidharma’s robe after

 

numerous washings”  

 

                    I remember a boy

 

named Bill who lived   next door

 

I remember his overdose

 

outside my door  & the woman

 

firefighter who tried to revive him

 

 

      *****   

 

I remember arriving

 

in a May      

 

and departing in another

 

 

 I remember ACT UP

 

        meetings in the basement

 

 

 

I remember Sunday afternoons

 

at the Little Hollywood Launderette

 

 

and the guy who cut out             

 

penises from polaroids

 

to make a collage         

while folding his delicates

 

 

 

I remember my night strolls

& being aware of being        

 

cruised while being misgendered 

 

    I remember not caring

 

 

 

                                                  *****

 

 

 

I remember Thursday, August 13th 1998

Bay Area Reporter headline:

 

“No Obits”

 

 

And thinking how writing

an obituary could be

 

a final act of love

 

 

 

I remember Mike looking

 

                    like a sagacious wire-haired

 

terrier         his

 

rediscovering vinyl

 

pouring his working-under-the-

 

table money into

 

his sound system     knocking on my door

 

(every other day) to come listen

 

to each new “Can you hear the difference?”

 

 

 

I remember 1878 Market

 

the 3rd floor

 

 shower capacious and coronal

 

throne room used for sex

 

filming           

 

in the bygone Swedish

 

part of town

 

 

I remember the older queens

 

                    calling it

 

the Viking Hotel

 

 

I remember once in Muir woods

 

          Mike resting his cheek

 

on a pad of wet moss   I remember when

 

I started doing that

 

in remembrance

 

 

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Tiff Dressen was born and raised in St. Paul, Minnesota and now calls Oakland, California home. Their most recent book of poems, Of Mineral, was published by Nightboat Books in 2022. O Hypothalamus, a new chapbook was recently published by palabrosa, a poetry chapbook series curated by Valerie Coulton in Barcelona, Spain. Their writing has appeared in numerous journals, most recently in Conjunctions Online and The Brooklyn Rail. An interview with San Francisco poet Aaron Shurin was published in the LA Review of Books. They are indebted to poetry for helping them navigate, and survive, life in the Anthropocene.

 

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