What dream do you remember most vividly? What message do you think it bears?

I have had more than one dream in which I "wake up" and discover that there is someone leaning over me with a long knife.  I have no time to react before he starts stabbing & slashing.  The pain is overwhelming.

I then actually wake up, screaming & sweating & crazed.

Does this have a message?  Yes.  I have watched too many episodes of CSI & Criminal Minds.


Why don't you listen to what the universe or your mind or your body or your god whispers ever more closely to you?

Why do you assume I don't?  Whispers antiphonal in azure swing.


If you could, what gift that is impossible for you to give would you offer and to whom? Why this specific gift to this specific person or persons?

I would spare my partner the death of his first husband.

Why?  Parts of him are scarred & irreparably broken.  I ache to see it.

Of course, if husband #1 were alive, I wouldn't be #2. But I don't have to think this through, since we're in the realm of impossible.


Describe a person you love. How would you know them without their face?

Voice.  Mother.  Intent, tired, loving, strong.


How did you first know you were in love and what makes you unsure of it?

When I realized I was going to crazed lengths to prevent my best friend from having a steady girlfriend.

Why unsure?  This was a pattern.  It was probably with best friend #4 I finally fully realized what I was up to. But I tried to seduce #2 . . . what counts as "knowing" that you are experiencing an emotion?


What besides love do you doubt and what makes you doubt it?

Whether American literature has any meaningful future as anything other than entertainment.

Why?  I regularly read Russian newspapers & poetry.  Some Polish, too.  Eastern Europeans revere poetry.  Americans would be happy to wipe their asses with it.


In what way have you betrayed or disappointed yourself or others? In what way have you been betrayed or disappointed?

Betrayed others?  Sins of omission.

Been betrayed?  Been on the losing side of "compromise" repeatedly.


What are the parameters of your small world? How do you decide where to draw the line, where to focus your energies, what to give your attention and time to? What, if anything, do you do to enlarge it? If nothing, why not?

My world is what I can read or see or hear or think.

I focus my energies on my work & secondarily on security.

I am happy, though, when I am focused on words.  These days, I'm most alive at night when, all duties discharged, I can sit down and read slowly through Nikolai Gogol's short stories, looking things up in the dictionary & online as I go.  His sentences can make me jump around with glee.


Why aren't you more involved in trying to better the world of others?

Luke 19:41



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