From what or where or whom do you come and how has it mattered? Do you see it in yourself still?

When I begin to thin, my mother and I are both reminded that I am hers. So I plump again so we can forget.


From what have you managed to free yourself?

This implies much more stability than I am willing to attribute to myself.


What dream do you remember most vividly and what message does it bear?

In my early 20s, I had a dream of a woman 20, maybe 30, years my senior. She held my hands with both hands, and we sat and laughed together, and I watched our feet, side-by-side, mine in tennis shoes, hers in not-quite-white keds. And I knew that she loved me, and that I would never experience such intimacy again. I awoke and cried, for I was alone.


Why don’t you listen to what the universe or your mind or your body or your god whispers ever more closely to you?

Any whispers can be deduced as a sign of delusion, and I prefer to ignore such signs.


What does art do, really; what's the value of art?

To take me out of myself or further in. To make me realize that I am inadequate in my life and in my art.


If you could, what gift that is impossible for you to give would you offer and to whom? Why this gift, this person?

To many, the knowledge to adequately assess their worth: so they may be keenly aware when they deserve better, when they are treated fairly, and when they are being worshiped. So they are neither in denial if they are bad nor self-deprecating when they are good.


Describe a person you love. How would you know them without their face?

I do not know that I would know them without their face, for I am lost in the logistics of this question: Can I simply not see the face, or is it a melted mask, which is what I am imagining? If it is a melted mask, then the possibility of me hearing their voice or laugh would be impossible, for their mouths would be sealed over. This sealing over would in turn make breathing an impossibility and therefore any physical movement, for they would suffocate and die, thereby eliminating recognition through body language. This leaves the mere physicality of this person's actual body, but I prefer not to look at people below the shoulders or above the knees. Since this person's face is melted off, I am left with only hair and shoes. Since neither shoes nor hair are stagnant, I am left with little to identify said person, therefore rendering this question unanswerable.


How did you know you were in love and what makes you unsure of it?

I wanted to make them love me and draw them near to me, but I didn't. I am very sure.


What besides love do you doubt and what makes you doubt it?

I doubt that loving me is good for anyone, and if I truly love someone, then I must spare them the burden of me – must call out to them, warn them away: "Do not enter those woods," I say. "Stay with your kind, for too much of you will be lost in there. Or "Stay out here and hide. I'll come get you shortly."


What are the parameters of your small world?

I am bordered by an elderly woodworker to my north, a school board building to the east, to the south a deranged woman who has spray painted her boarded-up windows with "someone lives here," and a pagan whose dogs climb her fence like children to the west – the house and the children. I dare not venture out.


Why aren’t you more involved in trying to better the world of others?

1. These "others" should better their own world. 2. I am not Jesus. 3. Neediness is daunting.



Seek (answers)